The Old Webmaster and the bonds of marriage

“You looked awfully glum this evening, Brother.” said The Old Webmaster to the young man as they both waited in line to grab a snack after the meeting had finished. “Have you got just a minute to talk?” asked the latter with a sigh.

The Old Webmaster gently placed his hand on the young man’s elbow and guided him to the side of the room where, in plain view of all, they could speak without being overheard. The young man cast his eyes on the floor as he began speaking hesitantly: “I’m going through a rough time at home. My wife wants a divorce and I’m just not sure what to do. I thought things were pretty good but…” The young man was close to tears. He kept his back to the rest of the room while The Old Webmaster scrunched his shoulders down to signal the intensity of the conversation to any who might come near in an attempt to be friendly.

“Please don’t say anything about this to anyone.” the young man added. “I will keep a Brother Master Mason’s secrets as my own.” replied The Old Webmaster quickly. “Is there anything I can do? Anything the Lodge can do?”

“Well, just bear with me I guess. I can’t believe that she wants to break our marriage vows. It hurts me so deeply inside.”

“Things happen – and people sometimes change. That’s life and there’s not much anyone can do to change that. Some women chafe too at the ‘obey’ part of the ceremony….” This was not the first time The Old Webmaster had heard this same story but each time was unique – just as the individuals involved. “May I offer a small amount of advice?”

“I would certainly appreciate ANYTHING.” replied the young man.

“You promised to love, honor and cherish her. There’s no reason to break those vows, either now or ever. Your love may come in a different way in the future and the amount of ‘honoring and cherishing’ may be diminished greatly but you’ve had some good times together and there’s no reason whatsoever – no matter how provoked – to allow your life to be diminished. You need to stay on the moral high ground and not allow excuses like things she might do in her anger or confusion to take you away from that.” The Old Webmaster put a hand on his forearm. “You MUST avoid becoming bitter. If you do, you’ll lash out and lose all credibility – even with yourself. I’ve watched it happen far too many times. Do the right thing – and stay on the moral high ground!”

The young man looked up and saw in the eyes of The Old Webmaster a lifetime of compassion and caring. He nodded slowly but affirmatively.

“Just because someone else does something wrong – violates their obligations as in this case – doesn’t give you the right to do likewise. If you’re half the man I think you are, you’ll remember always that two wrongs don’t make a right – and that using someone else’s actions to justify your own is cowardice in the purest sense. Others do that all the time; you have the chance to be different – and at the end of your days, you’ll be able to look yourself in the mirror knowing that you did the right thing regardless of what others might do.”

“Do you think I’d be missed if I headed on home now?” asked the young man tentatively.

“Call me or e-mail me if you need something. Any hour! Just one last thing: is it ok for me to mention this to the Master so he’ll have a heads-up on it?”

“Absolutely. I’d appreciate it. Just between the two of you for now though.” and with that the young man headed directly to the door. The Old Webmaster watched him go. Eyes followed his passage and then turned to see if they could read something in the face of the man with whom he’d been speaking. The Old Webmaster, however, was already back at the table, intent on pouring a cup of coffee for himself. To onlookers, he was taking great care not to spill; in reality, he was oblivious to what he was doing, his mind frantically searching for things that might help ease the Brother’s pain but knowing there would be little at all.

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The Old Webmaster and embezzlement

The Old Webmaster heard the footsteps coming purposefully up the stairs to the small storage room on the upper floor of the lodge building. He’d come up here today to escape the noise of the roofers fixing a problem at his house from a few months earlier. As usual, he’d checked his incoming e-mail and, based on its contents, he could make a good guess what any hotfooted visit would be about. He turned from his computer to watch the door and within a few moments, the flushed face of the Lodge’s Master appeared.

“Have you seen the newspaper today?” he said, catching his breath from the rapid ascent. “This is NOT good news.” Looking at the masthead of the page in the Master’s hand, The Old Webmaster knew this was about the news announcement of a possible financial problem – perhaps embezzlement – in a neighboring Grand Lodge. “This is AWFUL.” The Master was still catching his breath and his fluster was not simply from climbing the steep stairs.

“Sit down here. Read this blog – and then we’ll talk.” They exchanged chairs and the Master recognized the page graphics as something he’d seen before. He knew that The Old Webmaster was one of a very few Masons who regularly followed most Masonic blogs. Personally he felt such activity was a waste of time but in cases like this, it was interesting to see what was being said. He read the article through – and then read it slowly a second time. He turned to see his friend leaning against a nearby elderly filing cabinet, watching for his reaction.

“What on EARTH is he railing about?” the Master turned to face his friend while the desk chair gave its customary squeak of protest. The Old Webmaster settled in to the old and threadbare but eminently comfortable overstuffed chair which had served the lodge well for many decades.

“This seems to be the classic example of what you’ve said to me a dozen times: if you want to find ill-formed opinion and misleading information, read a Masonic blog or two. Do you have any idea what Grand Lodges have been hit with embezzlements lately?”

The Old Webmaster shook his head from side to side. “The article mentions a Mason from that same jurisdiction who is now in federal prison but he stole from lodges, churches, community clubs, and individuals. There was embezzlement northeast of there a couple of years earlier but again, it was a local lodge along with a number of other groups, mostly non-Masonic. Neither case involved Grand Lodge funds – but why let the facts get in the way of a good rant?”

“And we’re not the only ones who use volunteers to handle our funds, for cryin’ out loud.” responded the Master. “This just seems like a convenient situation on which to hang one’s personal agenda. Has he got some sort of gripe against Grand Lodges?”

“Some of the ‘back-story’ here is that the blogger is a Past Master in that very jurisdiction. His lodge even meets in the Grand Lodge building. Knowing that, you’ve got to wonder about his motivation as well as his apparent lack of knowledge of his former jurisdiction.” The Old Webmaster stopped there and stared towards the opposite wall. The Master could see there was more to it – but that was enough on personalities.

“And there are two other things that really bothered me about that blog” the Master said. “First is that it’s stupid to assume that problems are caused because we tend to use volunteers – or that those volunteers don’t know anything. Heck, the fellows I know at Grand Lodge who are involved in financial matters put their heart and soul into it. That there might be a bad apple slip through is no different than any other organization in our world. Look at the story on FEMA trailer fraud and embezzlement that’s also big in the paper today. Look at the housing crisis and the fraud that involved hundreds, thousands, perhaps hundreds of thousands of people, all paid and many with professional credentials. Earlier in the week there was a story about unaccounted-for funds millions with a group that runs schools. There was a story about fraud in the Medicare program as well as a New York City employee who embezzled nine million dollars intended to identify 9-11 victims. Late last year the former President of France plus twenty others including four of his Chiefs of Staff were placed under formal investigation for embezzlement.” He paused and shook his head yet again. “I try not to rationalize or to be an apologist for Freemasonry but we’re not unique and that has nothing to do with the fact that our members who do the yeoman’s portion of the work are volunteers. Other organizations – and even governments - with paid employees and paid outside professionals fall victim as well, sometimes more easily. This ‘Brother’ chooses to paint all Masons with a brush of incompetence and ignorance, though, without having even a small portion of the facts. Seems to me like there’s more going on than just righteous indignation….”

The Old Webmaster nodded in agreement. “The Red Cross is an interesting example also and there are dozens of cases every year involving theft from physicians’ offices – but often those who are blogging seem to have a VERY limited background on the issues about which they proselytize or they willfully neglect to address the issues objectively. Obviously everyone’s entitled to their opinion. I just find it disturbing that some of these people grasp at straws to make their points and push their own agenda which in this case seems to involve bashing Grand Lodges.”

“I think I’ll call the Finance Committee and the Treasurer. We should get together to review our own lodge procedures for ensuring financial integrity” said the Master.

“It is easy to become complacent when we’re dealing with friends and Brothers but we’ve also got a fiduciary duty to act responsibly. Due diligence can help minimize problems but it can never eliminate them totally – as FAR more than just a few Masons have found out over the years.”

“Want to grab lunch?” asked the Master. And off they went to the local sandwich shop as the screen saver turned the blog post to black.

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The Old Webmaster sees things differently

“What on earth are you doing?”, he asked, leaning closer to view the computer. The lodge’s Master had come up to the small storage room where The Old Webmaster was typing furiously on his laptop in the soft glow of a naked light bulb on the wall further back into the room.

“Just answering a couple of e-mails before heading off to pick up some things for the Kiwanis rummage sale. If you’ve got nothing better to do, you can give me a hand with it.” the Old Webmaster replied, grinning broadly while tipping his head slightly to look over his glasses. The Masons and the Kiwanis in town had a great working relationship and many shared members. Each gave the other a hand on major projects: it worked quite well.

“Your e-mail? That doesn’t look e-mail at all…..” He hesitated and leaned even closer. ” – at least not like MY e-mail.” The Master was fascinated as he peered at the screen.

“That’s because we use different e-mail programs. It may also be because I’ve got a different size screen than you do, have it set at a different resolution and use a background color scheme which I’ve found, after several years of trial and error, is pleasing to these old eyes. It’s all a matter of how we see things – and likely too, how we see things at different times in our lives.”

“Yes, but it’s not at all like mine. I just don’t understand. I can see the titles of your e-mails but in mine….” The Master continued to stare intently as The Old Webmaster leaned off to the side to give him a better view.

“I guess we’re all the ‘victims’ – for better or worse – of our past experiences. I’ve come to this particular e-mail program because it’s rock-solid, doesn’t allow the majority of viruses to trouble me or others, and because it’s proven itself time and time again. Others take a different tack and are quick to toss aside what works for the glitter of something different – or they take what they get for free and are happy with it. I don’t suspect you’d ever think that I pretty much walk to the beat of a different drummer….”

“I think I’ve heard that said more than once!” The Master patted the shoulder of his Masonic Brother while continuing to stare at his computer screen.

“And some think that I’m just old-fashioned and out of touch I suppose – but then again, I don’t think that bending and blowing with every breeze makes much sense. I’d rather build my moral and Masonic edifice on more solid ground and not move it around every few days.”

“Well, old fashioned or out-of-touch are CERTAINLY not terms I’d use with you, my friend!” the Master quickly interjected. “From the time I’ve joined I’ve benefitted from your advice, most of it very forward-looking.”

“Thank you, Worshipful, but in some ways – like this e-mail program – I’ll admit to being unwilling to change. A colleague at work says I won’t compromise – even a little - in order to move ahead. On the other hand, I’ve moved ahead far further than a lot of those folks while maintaining both my dignity and my sanity! And yes: I am unwilling to compromise, particularly when the alternative is unproven or buggy. ” The Old Webmaster was also staring at his screen – thinking beyond.

“Looking at things differently can cause problems for an individual – and sometimes a real culture clash can result. Generational differences make it particularly tough and in a voluntary association such as ours, there can be lots of hard feelings when people don’t all see eye-to-eye. Not that I’m saying that differences can’t be good….”

The Old Webmaster turned to face him and smiled – a very knowing smile.

“OK. OK. I remember when I first got here and tried to tell everyone what Freemasonry REALLY was all about.” He hung his head in mock remorse, smiling all the while. “Fortunately I was bright enough to realize that we could row together or I’d be out adrift somewhere. Seeing things differently, I came to learn quickly with the help of Brothers like yourself, doesn’t have to mean arguing, demanding one’s own way, and being deliberately provocative. And so I guess the lesson here is the same: that you can reach the same goal by different means. That everyone does things differently but if they’ve all got the same goal, there’s no reason to get alarmed at what the other person is up to?”

“Or that in an organization that’s as old and as large as Freemasonry, there’s plenty of room for a wide variety of interests and ideas – and that perhaps sometimes what works doesn’t need to be changed completely – like my old e-mail program!” The Old Webmaster chuckled slightly – and the Master looked at his face, smiling from ear to ear. “But about that question you dodged a few minutes ago, Worshipful….”

“Saddle up, Ol’ Webmaster! We’re going to collect enough stuff to keep those Kiwanians selling until midnight!”

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The Old Webmaster and Famous Dead Guys

“I don’t understand why so many Masonic websites brag about the important people who joined Freemasonry a couple of hundred years ago. Is that what REALLY attracts potential members?” The Junior Warden was already planning his term as Master two years hence and had asked to meet with the Lodge’s Webmaster to see if there was anything he could or should do to help keep their online ‘face’ of the Lodge interesting to visitors.

“I don’t think you’ve been talking to the fellows who’ve been knocking on our door lately – and if you have, maybe you haven’t talked with them about what piqued their curiosity.” replied The Old Webmaster.

The Junior Warden tipped his head to one side and furrowed his brow. “Are you saying that they DO join because of that?”

“Ask them. When they get through talking about their own personal reasons like wanting to find meaning in their lives, a beloved grandfather or uncle who was a member, and all that, they’ll tell you – nearly to a man – that they were impressed with the names of SO many famous Freemasons. You know: in many cases it’s like a who’s who of leaders.”

“But we have so few LIVING examples….”

“You don’t really believe that, do you? There are LOTS of Masons making a very big difference in our communities today. Proportionally, Freemasonry is nowhere as big as it was compared to the overall male population a hundred or more years ago and due to having lost the 60s generation, we seem to have skipped a bunch of people who might otherwise have joined. Further, anyone who’s interested in national politics where all the attention seems to focus learns early on that they shouldn’t join ANYTHING that might cost them a single vote so they stay away from us and a lot of other worthwhile organizations. All that notwithstanding, I’ve watched so many new initiates kneel at our altar and then, there - or not long afterwards - they’re overwhelmed with the proud and distinguished history to which they are now joined. The feeling of brotherhood comes to them first – but once they realize the breadth and depth of that brotherhood over the centuries, they understand their connection to that continuum. It’s a powerful bond indeed.” The Old Webmaster looked over the top rim of his glasses.

“Now that you say it, that’s certainly true in my case….” He stared absently into space. “Can’t we put some of Freemasonry’s current members up there though?”

“Members are free to disclose whether or not they’re affiliated with us and many have quite publicly. In these days, though, where historical revisionism and near fanatical beliefs held by some persons can put families at risk, many chose to keep their affiliations – be it church, club, or Freemasonry – more private. I don’t think anyone is ever ashamed of that affiliation as a Mason but sometimes it has been used by our detractors to cause hardships. A classic example was when a certain blogger decided to ‘announce’ the church and location of a Minister/Mason hoping it would cause an embarrassment to the individual and perhaps even loss of his job. Ironically, when the blogger’s job was ‘outed’ a few months later by someone else, he was righteously indignant. It’s more than that, though, and there’s a whole history of hatred against Freemasonry. The Holocaust Museum in Washington has a whole section which explains these horrors but far less reported are incidents like airline hijackings where terrorists would look for Masonic rings or dues cards in wallets and then beat the men nearly to death. Servicemen going to certain countries are warned about disclosing their religion and, if applicable, Masonic membership.”

The Old Webmaster realized his thoughts were drifting. “Sorry. This is in some ways personal for me. Because of that potential danger, we let members decide whether or not they want to be identified as Masons. In reality, I think that most of them don’t make a ‘big deal’ out of their membership not because they’re embarrassed but because they simply don’t feel they measure up to the ‘important people’ of the past. Heck, a recently elected Governor didn’t feel that the Masons should be particularly proud of his achievements – which transcended partisan politics by a mile. He was encouraged into accepting the recognition. His election brought honor and recognition to himself but he had long been deeply involved as a Mason – and it was very much a part of his life. He didn’t want anyone – and particularly other Masons – to think he was bragging that he was more important somehow than they were. He was concerned that being identified as a living ‘famous Freemason’ might do that.”

“I think I see what you’re saying. But after all, getting elected Governor is no small feat – in even the smallest state!”

“That’s right! But it comes down to ‘meeting on the level’ that we hold so dear. None of us thinks that we’re more important than the other – and if we do, we hopefully see the error of our ways before it gets too far along.”

“OK. Well, that pretty well explains why we don’t have more ‘current names’ on that ‘famous’ list. Listen: do you want to go next door to the café and grab lunch? It would surely be better than this dark storage room that you use as your office….”

“I’ve never met a meal I didn’t like!” said The Old Webmaster, smiling broadly. He rose from the rickety wooden chair which squealed in appreciation. If only it knew where they were going….

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