“You looked awfully glum this evening, Brother.” said The Old Webmaster to the young man as they both waited in line to grab a snack after the meeting had finished. “Have you got just a minute to talk?” asked the latter with a sigh.
The Old Webmaster gently placed his hand on the young man’s elbow and guided him to the side of the room where, in plain view of all, they could speak without being overheard. The young man cast his eyes on the floor as he began speaking hesitantly: “I’m going through a rough time at home. My wife wants a divorce and I’m just not sure what to do. I thought things were pretty good but…” The young man was close to tears. He kept his back to the rest of the room while The Old Webmaster scrunched his shoulders down to signal the intensity of the conversation to any who might come near in an attempt to be friendly.
“Please don’t say anything about this to anyone.” the young man added. “I will keep a Brother Master Mason’s secrets as my own.” replied The Old Webmaster quickly. “Is there anything I can do? Anything the Lodge can do?”
“Well, just bear with me I guess. I can’t believe that she wants to break our marriage vows. It hurts me so deeply inside.”
“Things happen – and people sometimes change. That’s life and there’s not much anyone can do to change that. Some women chafe too at the ‘obey’ part of the ceremony….” This was not the first time The Old Webmaster had heard this same story but each time was unique – just as the individuals involved. “May I offer a small amount of advice?”
“I would certainly appreciate ANYTHING.” replied the young man.
“You promised to love, honor and cherish her. There’s no reason to break those vows, either now or ever. Your love may come in a different way in the future and the amount of ‘honoring and cherishing’ may be diminished greatly but you’ve had some good times together and there’s no reason whatsoever – no matter how provoked – to allow your life to be diminished. You need to stay on the moral high ground and not allow excuses like things she might do in her anger or confusion to take you away from that.” The Old Webmaster put a hand on his forearm. “You MUST avoid becoming bitter. If you do, you’ll lash out and lose all credibility – even with yourself. I’ve watched it happen far too many times. Do the right thing – and stay on the moral high ground!”
The young man looked up and saw in the eyes of The Old Webmaster a lifetime of compassion and caring. He nodded slowly but affirmatively.
“Just because someone else does something wrong – violates their obligations as in this case – doesn’t give you the right to do likewise. If you’re half the man I think you are, you’ll remember always that two wrongs don’t make a right – and that using someone else’s actions to justify your own is cowardice in the purest sense. Others do that all the time; you have the chance to be different – and at the end of your days, you’ll be able to look yourself in the mirror knowing that you did the right thing regardless of what others might do.”
“Do you think I’d be missed if I headed on home now?” asked the young man tentatively.
“Call me or e-mail me if you need something. Any hour! Just one last thing: is it ok for me to mention this to the Master so he’ll have a heads-up on it?”
“Absolutely. I’d appreciate it. Just between the two of you for now though.” and with that the young man headed directly to the door. The Old Webmaster watched him go. Eyes followed his passage and then turned to see if they could read something in the face of the man with whom he’d been speaking. The Old Webmaster, however, was already back at the table, intent on pouring a cup of coffee for himself. To onlookers, he was taking great care not to spill; in reality, he was oblivious to what he was doing, his mind frantically searching for things that might help ease the Brother’s pain but knowing there would be little at all.
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